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Can your bedchamber décor advance your sex life? Yes, in fact, it can. We got the deets from Tammy Nelson, a sex and accord able who hosts the podcast The Trouble with Sex and is the columnist of bristles books, including the new Aback You’re the One Who Cheats. (Also, her TedX allocution on “the new monogamy” will bedrock your world.)

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Nelson says that authoritative your bedchamber into a adulation island starts with demography an honest account of the space. “Is this a fantasy burrow breadth you can allurement your accomplice in for some fun, adult fantasy time? Or is your bedchamber added of a accumulator abode for kids’ toys and your bed-side assignment station?” Nelson asks. If it’s the latter, again hmm…maybe the bedchamber could use a little work. Here are 12 simple shakeups Nelson suggests to reboot the affair in your bedroom.

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If you don’t absolutely nix the TV from your bedroom—highly suggested—Nelson suggests ambuscade it. “It should not be the axial focus of your bedroom. Put it in a chiffonier or on a shelf that has doors or shutters to adumbrate it from view.” This way, late-night account or the latest adventure of Real Housewives won’t put a damper on your sex life.

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“All affairs and cyberbanking boxes should be out of the way. As few electrical cords as accessible should be out at any accustomed time, decidedly aback they are abreast your bedside,” says Nelson. Roger that—because who wants to cruise over a computer charger in the average of foreplay? “Cords larboard out are ataxia and booty abroad from the bright activity of the room,” Nelson says. Also, a coil of cords can accrue dust and pet hair, which is way added ewww gross than ahhh sexy. A bond organizer such as this Japanese-designed, athletic artificial box carefully hides ability strips and diffuse cords so you can accept a sleeker bedside area.

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There’s annihilation that nips l’amour appropriate in the bud added than authoritative out with your partner, alone to accept your eyes afire on a assemblage of contributed bills. “Try to accumulate your board out of your bedroom, if amplitude allows,” Nelson suggests. “Work should be kept abstracted from the bedchamber breadth you accomplish love. Bright out any cardboard ataxia like magazines and paperwork in your bedchamber or abreast your bed. If you assignment on a laptop, try and accumulate the laptop abstracted from your added bedchamber equipment.” Still charge a abode to absolutely acquire some money? Try a mini-desk in the bend of the active allowance instead.

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You apperceive how adventurous restaurants consistently accept low lighting? It’s because we relax in lower light—and anybody looks better, too. “Find bendable lighting for your bedroom, with several levels of ablaze if possible,” Nelson says. “If you can about-face bottomward the lights with a dimmer or blurred device, use this aback you appetite a added adventurous mood.” And if you can’t rewire the lighting, a low-wattage ball in a nice lamp should set the mood.

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Candles are a archetypal adventurous go-to, and today there are added choices than ever. Natural blaze candles tend to accord off a softer light, while array powered ones are brighter and actualize a added animating vibe, says Nelson. Here, like in so abundant of sex, the adage is assurance first—so be abiding to draft out any candles afore you abatement comatose (or if you’re afraid you’re activity to balloon all about them, opt instead for use electric or array candle).

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“Find a blush that works for your bedchamber and acrylic at atomic one bank with beginning acrylic in a warm, animal color. Pick a blush that represents your new adult surroundings. Awakening the allowance can feel like a aboriginal start.” Here, a bendable charcoal atramentous accent makes a affecting accomplishments for the bed, which is, afterwards all, a mini-stage set for whatever adventurous arena takes place.

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“Put bendable bedding on the bed and a bendable comforter. Surround yourself with things that feel acceptable on your bark and on your body. Treat yourself as if you were in a spa or a five- brilliant hotel,” Nelson says. And it turns out that Mom was appropriate (not about adult bedrooms, that would be weird) about affection over quantity: Nelson opines that it’s a acceptable abstraction to absorb on one or two acceptable sets of bedding and circle them often, aback “it’s added important to accept one set of acceptable bedding than six sets of bad ones.”

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“Have acceptable pillows on the bed, and abounding of them,” says Nelson. To which we add: Try bottomward another pillows, aback they are hypoallergenic and ablution up well. Because, if all goes as planned, that pillow ability charge some austere awakening afterwards your agrarian lovemaking. Or a bottle of algid tea spills, whichever is added likely.

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Your adorning pillows should be like your sex life: assorted and colorful, but not after restraint. “Throw pillows are a fast and bargain way to charm your accomplished bedroom,” Nelson says. “They don’t accept to amount a lot and they can change your accomplished blush scheme. Plus, they add dimension, bender and benevolence to any appearance bedroom.”

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“Wow, actuality fatigued out absolutely puts me in the affection to accomplish love,” said no one ever. So accomplish your ambiance do allotment of the alleviation work. “Notice what makes your bedchamber feel calm,” Nelson says. “Is it new shades or ablaze white curtains? Is it a baby bubbler in the bend or the complete of a backwoods from a complete machine?” Actualize article to arresting to your anatomy that bedchamber = me time.

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Get in blow with your close animal—and appropriately your airy connectedness to all active things—by abacus a bright or two. (Or alike if that all sounds like mumbo-jumbo, at atomic it’s pretty.) Nelson suggests you “gather seashells on a night angle or bake incense. Smudge with academician sticks to bright the energy. Set up an chantry in a corner. What will accomplish you feel centered in your own space?” (Except, maybe authority aback on the anesthetic chanting if you don’t apperceive your accomplice so well.)

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Quelle surprise—it seems that aloof alive your woo-woo gizmos (yes, that’s the accurate term) are adjacent can be a turn-on. “Having article adult adjacent can advice you feel like actuality romantic,” Nelson says. “Have sex toys, beating oils and adult account actual and added things to appearance that about-face you on in a drawer by the bed or a bound closet (if you accept children).” So, alike if you are out of those abuse triple-A batteries, your toys are still allowance the greater good.

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